Back From The Dead by Patt

Back from the Dead - Patt

Blair was putting some clothes away in their closet when he heard Jim crying, really loud. Blair’s heartbeat went into overdrive as he rushed down the stairs and into the living room. There he found Jim holding a stranger in his arms and sobbing his heart out. Blair had no idea who this person was, but had a feeling that it was someone important.

“Jim, it’s okay. I’m really here. I’m sorry it took me so long to find you, but I wanted to let you know that I was all right,” the stranger said.

Jim continued sobbing and Blair wished that he could hold his lover instead of this other man. Blair didn’t know what to do.

Finally, Blair couldn’t stand it any longer and walked over to the two men and said, “Jim, let’s let him sit down and tell you what’s going on. Come on, big guy. Let go of him,” Blair said reaching Jim finally.

Jim pulled away and wiped his face off with his hand. Blair gave him some tissues and he blew his nose.

The stranger, just stood there and watched Jim and said, “Since he’s in shock, I’ll tell you who I am. I’m Seth Adams. I used to be with Jim years ago and we were separated during the last mission we were on and I guess they told him I was killed. Once I found out they had told him that, I wanted to let him know that I was still breathing. And you are?” Seth asked Blair.

“I’m Blair Sandburg, Jim’s other half. I’ve never heard of you, so this takes me off guard just a little bit. You knew each other in the service?” Blair asked, sounding very confused.

“Yes, we were in the same unit for a long while, but they separated us for the last mission and we were sent to two different places. I was captured and stayed the next 18 years in a prison until someone from the state department saw me there and asked for my release. They traded one of the prisoners that we had in our prisons for me, and that’s how it came to be. And I was home for some time before I realized that everyone including the government thought I was dead. It took me two years to get it all straightened out. Once I did, I knew I had to find Jim and tell him. We were together back then and I felt I owed him that much,” Seth explained.

Jim cleared his throat and said, “You were in prison for 18 years?”

“Yeah, my mission didn’t go too well. Better then being dead, I guess, but for 18 years, I wondered which would be better,” Seth answered.

Jim hugged him again and said, “I’ve never been so glad to see anyone in my life, Seth. You’re a sight for sore eyes.”

Blair didn’t know what to say. He felt out of place and decided he would give them some room. “Would you like a drink, Seth?”

“That would be great, Blair. A beer would be nice, thank you,” Seth replied.

Jim said, “Come on over here and sit down and tell me what’s going on.”

Seth followed Jim into the living room and sat on the sofa next to Jim and began to tell him all about the last 18 years. Blair listened from the kitchen and knew this was probably breaking Jim’s heart, but he sure hoped this guy didn’t want back into Jim’s life. Oh my God, what if he wanted Jim back?

Blair took an ice cold beer out to Seth and to Jim and handed them to each of them. “Thanks, Chief.”

“Thank you, Blair. I’ve been driving a long, long while, is there a chance I could rest my eyes before we continue this talk?” Seth asked.

“We have a spare room, you are welcome to stay in for as long as you need to,” Jim offered. Blair wasn’t sure how he felt about that.

“I’m so fucking glad to see your face, I can’t tell you enough,” Jim said again.

“Blair, do you mind if I stay here?” Seth asked softly.

“No, of course not,” Blair said as happily as he could under the circumstances.

“Jesus, it hurts,” Seth said suddenly and Jim hugged him.

Blair thought, what hurts? But instead just stood his ground. He had a feeling he was in for the fight of his life. Seth wanted Jim. Blair could tell that much.

Jim said, “Let me show you where you’ll be sleeping and we’ll talk more tomorrow.”

Seth went out to the car to get his bag and then when he came back in, he followed Jim to Blair’s old room that was fixed up as their spare room. Jim pulled the covers down on the bed and said, “Everything you need is in here, but if you need me during the night for anything, my room is right above you. Just call and I’ll come running.”

Seth smiled at Jim, in the old type of smile that Jim used to love and then he said, “Thank you, Jim for putting me up tonight.”

“You can stay as long as you want to,” Jim invited.

Seth pulled Jim into his arms and kissed him, long and hard. Jim didn’t pull away from him right away. He stayed in the kiss and remembered how things used to feel and liked it, but then realized where he was and stopped kissing Seth.

“I’m with Blair, Seth. I can’t do this to him,” Jim confessed.

“What about me, Jim? What about all of the years you promised me?” Seth asked.

“I’m a little confused right now, so I’ll talk to you tomorrow about some of it. But we can’t upset Blair, am I understood?” Jim asked.

Seth pulled Jim into another kiss and said, “Understood. Not in front of him. You make up your mind, Jim and let me know, okay?”

Jim found himself wanting to stay in the kiss this time, not wanting to ever leave and wondered where his brain was at. He couldn’t do this to Blair. Jesus, Ellison, get a grip.

Jim pulled away and said, “Goodnight, Seth.” He left the room and walked out of the room.

Blair was waiting in their bedroom and he said, “Wow, this was a shock wasn’t it?”

“You could say that,” Jim answered as he stripped off his clothing and slid into bed.

Blair saw that Jim was half hard and wondered who he was half hard for. Blair couldn’t ask, because he couldn’t take the rejection right now.

Blair got undressed and slid into bed next to Jim. “Jim, are we going to be all right?”

“We’ll be fine, Chief. Stop worrying. I’m off for the next five days, so I’m going to show him around town while you’re at work if that’s okay with you. I’d like to have him meet my dad too. I used to talk about him a lot and dad would like meeting him in the flesh,” Jim said.

“Sure, I’m just going to work as usual. I’ll see you in the mornings and the evenings.”

“This will be great Blair. I want to spend some time alone with Seth. We have a lot of catching up to do,” Jim admitted.

“Jim, you do know that he’s still got feelings for you, right?” Blair asked.

“And I still have feelings for him. Blair, it’s going to take awhile to sort things out. I hope you’ll understand,” Jim said sadly.

Blair knew this was going to end badly for him and said, “Well, I don’t understand. You’re my lover, why do I have to share you?”

“I’m not sleeping with him, Blair. I’m showing him the town and catching up on old times. There’s a big difference,” Jim explained.

“Well, I hope you explain it to him, because he looks at you like a lover and I’m not sharing. It’s as simple as that,” Blair stated.

“Stop worrying and let’s get some sleep,” Jim said as he rolled on his side and pulled the covers up to his shoulders. Blair couldn’t believe how fast Jim was turning his back on him. There wasn’t even a goodnight, Blair.

Blair snuggled into Jim and said, “Goodnight, lover.”

“Goodnight, Blair.” Jim pulled over all the way to the edge of the bed and Blair’s heart just broke.


Blair woke up at 3:00 and found Jim gone from the bed. He walked out to the living room and kitchen and couldn’t find him. He walked into the spare room and found Jim and Seth sleeping in the bed together. Jim was holding Seth like he had held Blair so many times before.

Blair got into the shower and then got dressed. He needed to think, and he wasn’t going to get any of it done being at the house. He was so angry and hurt right now, he couldn’t see straight. Blair left the house at 4:00 in the morning and hoped that William would be up already, because he needed someone to talk to.

William and Blair had become very close in the last six months and Blair was hoping he would have someone to confide in.

He drove up and saw a light on in the kitchen at William’s house and lit up with happiness. He could vent to William, couldn’t he? Blair laid his head down on the steering wheel and just thought about it for a moment. Before long there was a knock on his window, which scared the hell out of him and he looked up to see William standing there with a cup of coffee.

Blair opened the door and got out and said, “Good morning, William.”

“What’s wrong?” William asked.

“Nothing is wrong. I have some things on my mind and needed to get out of the house. I was hoping I could get coffee here. That smells mighty fine,” Blair teased.

“So something is wrong with you and Jim?” William asked.

“Yes, something is wrong. I think that he’s going to break up with me. And the sad part is I totally understand where he’s coming from in his decision.”

“Blair, how could you possibly understand him leaving you?” William asked as they walked into the house.

“Do you remember hearing about a man named Seth Adams?” Blair inquired.

“Yes, I know of him. He died years ago, why?” William asked.

“He didn’t die. He’s alive and well and in our spare room. Jim slept with him last night in the bed,” Blair said sadly.

“What in the hell are you talking about? He slept with another man in your house?” William was irate, to say the least.

“No, he didn’t sleep around, sleep. He was just holding him, like maybe he had a bad dream or something,” Blair said.

“Blair, that’s your home too. He had no right. I’m going to talk to him today about it,” William ranted.

“William, I need you to stay out of it for the time being. Jim needs to make up his own mind about who he wants to be with. I don’t want to pressure him into staying with me if that’s not what he wants. He may want Seth. If that’s the case, then I’ll step aside. But I have to let him choose on his own,” Blair said sadly.

“You’re not going to fight for him at all?” William asked, looking depressed.

“I want Jim to be happy, William. You should have heard him cry last night when he saw him. I know Seth has eyes on him, so Jim needs to choose. I don’t want him choosing me because he thinks he has to. I want him to choose me because he loves me and wants to.”

“Okay, I’ll stay out of it for now. But if I don’t like this Seth character, I might have to say something,” William pointed out.

“That’s just it, William, you’re going to love this Seth character. He’s so nice and he’s so in love with Jim it isn’t even funny. He deserves a chance too. He was robbed of the last 18 years and he needs that chance,” Blair said.

“Fight for him, Blair. Don’t give up, it’s not in your nature,” William stated before he leaned down and kissed Blair on the top of the head.

“I’ll see,” Blair remarked.

Blair left William’s and went to his office at the University and sat at his desk thinking when the phone rang at 5:30.

“Professor Sandburg’s office,” he answered.

“Blair, what are you doing in your office?” Jim asked.

“I didn’t want to talk to you this morning. Jim you have a lot of thinking to do about who is going to be in your life. It can’t be both of us. It’s either me or Seth. Take your time and choose wisely. I’m going to stay out of your way in the mean time. Good luck,” Blair said before he hung up.

The phone rang again a moment later and Blair knew it was Jim. “What?”

“Don’t you ever hang up on me again. So I take it you just gave up on us already?” Jim asked.

“How many times did you kiss him, Jim?”

There was complete silence and Blair said, “That’s what I was afraid of. Its bad enough you slept in the same bed with him under our roof, but you kissed him? More then once? I won’t have it. Tell him that he needs to find another place to stay, as of this morning. When I come home tonight, he had better not be there. You make your decisions. Just do me a favor and leave me before you fuck around on me.”

“Blair, I’m not going to fuck around on you.”

“Did you kiss him?” Blair asked.

“Yes, I don’t know what to say about that. It was a nice feeling, like the old days. I liked it,” Jim explained.

“Well, good, then find yourself a new place to stay too. The loft will be for me from here on in. I don’t want you near me,” Blair hung up the phone again.

The phone rang once more and Blair said, “I’m not playing this game anymore, Ellison.”

“It’s not a game, its called life. I don’t know what to do with Seth. I have no idea where he belongs in my life. I have to think. I’m going to stay at the house and do that thinking.”

“You slept in the same bed with a stranger in our own home. You don’t care. You’re only worried about Seth. Fuck, Seth. I had you first.” Blair slammed down the receiver and started to breath fast and hard.


Jim waited for Seth to come out and finally he did at about 8:00. Jim was already showered and dressed, waiting to talk to Seth.

“Hey, sorry I slept so long. Is Blair gone already?”

“Yeah, Blair found me in bed with you this morning and isn’t a happy camper. So he wants you to find somewhere else to stay. I’m sorry, but I have to agree with him. Until I make up my mind about what I’m doing, I need to keep you in another place. I made a reservation at the Red Roof Inn down the road. It’s close, if you need me you can call,” Jim said.

Seth walked up to Jim and began to kiss him again, like he did the night before. Except this time, Jim was more prepared and pushed him away. “Not right now. I need to make some decisions before I kiss you again.”

“Jim, you promised to wait for me,” Seth whined.

“I did. They told me you were dead. That was all I needed to know. After a few years, my life went on again. So I don’t want to hear about how I promised you anything. What about Blair? What about what I promised him?” Jim asked.

“Tell me you won’t ever think about me while making love to him. Tell me you won’t think about loving me each time you tell him you love him. Who is lying to whom?”

“I can’t do this. I need you to leave and I’ll talk to you in a couple of days. I need to talk to Blair first. He’s first on the list. I married him, and promised him things too,” Jim said.

“Tell me you love him the same way you loved me,” Seth pleaded.

“I love you both differently. You have no idea how I feel about Blair. He’s been my savior, so I don’t want to hear bad things about him. He’s the best man I would ever hope to find.”

“You go ahead and think about us for two days, but I think we should fuck each other so you can compare,” Seth snarled.

“Get out. Get out right now. Get your bag and be on your way. I don’t think I ever want to see you again. That was crude even for you,” Jim admitted.

“Jim, tell me you didn’t think about making love to me this morning while you were holding me,” Seth dared him to lie.

“Yeah, I thought about it and then I thought about Blair. I can’t do both of you. I have to think. Seth, he’s been in my life for some time now and we’re happy. I thought you would want me to be happy,” Jim said.

“I do want you to be happy, but can I help it if I want to be happy too?” Seth asked sadly.

“I want you to be happy, Seth, but not at the expense of my life. I don’t think I can give Blair up,” Jim commented strongly.

“Then what were you doing in my bed this morning?” Seth asked.

“I don’t know,” Jim answered and walked to the door and opened it. “Now get out, please?”

Seth walked over and got his suitcase and walked out again and to the front door. “I’ll always love you, Jim. There will never be anyone for me, except you.”

“I’ll call you in a few days,” Jim said sadly.

“I’ll be waiting for you,” Seth answered and walked out the door.


Blair was getting things ready for his first class when Seth walked into his office.

Blair sighed and said, “What do you need, Seth?”

“I need you to let Jim go. He’s torn between the two of us and he’s worried that he’s being mean to you. He needs to be with the one that will make him the happiest,” Seth said.

“And what makes you think that you’ll make him the happiest?” Blair asked, honestly.

“He loves me, he always has. He still does, he even admitted it to me. But he feels obligated because of the promises he made to you. Do you want him for that reason and that reason alone?” Seth asked.

“First of all, Jim knows I’m letting him make the decision. I’m not in his way at all. He can decide whatever he wants. I’ve never been in his way, so that means, he’s leaning towards me and you won’t hear of it. Am I right?” Blair asked.

“I have no idea who he plans to choose. But I thought you should be the bigger man and let him be happy for a change. He’s been waiting for this for a long, long while,” Seth said.

“Seth, let Jim do his thinking and make his decision. He’ll make the right one, no matter who gets him,” Blair said as he walked past Seth and out of his office.

“I should have known, you wouldn’t want him to be happy,” Seth called out.

Blair said, “Fuck you,” and walked to his class with a smile on his face. Jim must not be leaning in Seth’s direction. Blair was pleased, but not totally happy yet. He needed Jim to love him as much as he loved Jim. That would never include a man named Seth in the house.


Jim walked around the house all day thinking about Seth and sat down and remembered all of the good times with Seth and some of the bad. He realized that he had forgotten that Seth slept around on him the first year they were together and he was certain that Seth was sleeping with a woman while dating him in the service. Isn’t it funny how the mind lets you forget things?

Jim got into his truck and drove over the university and waited in Blair’s office to talk to him.

Blair came walking in and said, “What are you doing here? I told you I didn’t want you near me until you thought things through. I don’t think one night counts.”

“He fucked around on me. He never loved me. I forgot. I sat and thought about him all morning and all of these thoughts and memories came flooding back to me and they sure as hell didn’t make me feel good. But you know what I kept thinking about? You and me. Even before I was thinking about Seth, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. My life is perfect. You’re perfect and I don’t want any changes. I love you, Blair and I know you’re angry about me kissing Seth and I don’t blame you. But I really expect to be forgiven because we’re a family. I would never sleep with him while I was with you. I couldn’t do that to you. I adore you, Blair. The reason I was in bed with him is he had a terrible nightmare and I was comforting him and we both fell asleep. It was totally inappropriate. I’m sorry for that. You can name the punishment and I’ll agree to it. I’m sorry for everything, babe. Please say you’ll forgive me and give me another chance.

Blair flew into Jim’s arms and said, “I love you too. I forgive you, but don’t ever invite that man into our home again. Am I understood? He wants you and he made it quite clear to me.”

“He was here?” Jim asked.

“Yes, he told me if I really loved you, I would give you up to make your decision much easier for you.”

“I love you, Blair. Are you done for today?” Jim asked hopefully.

“Yes, I’ll meet you at the house in about 30 minutes. Drive carefully,” Blair said as he kissed Jim and sent him out the door.

As soon as Jim walked out of the building, Blair called William.


“Hi William, I thought I would let you know that Jim chose me. He remembered some bad things about him and Seth and realized he couldn’t mess up our life just because he felt guilty about Seth’s. It’s going to take a few days to get things right again, but I didn’t want you to worry,” Blair said.

“I wasn’t worried. He would have been insane to choose anyone else,” William said happily.

“I’m glad that one of us was so sure,” Blair teased.

“I’ll see you soon, Blair. Now take care of my son. He’s going to need it after he tells Seth.”

“I’ll be there for him, William. Just as I always am. I adore that man,” Blair said happily.


Jim stopped on his way home to see Seth. Seth opened the door and saw the look on Jim’s face and said, “He whined until you went his way, didn’t he?”

“Nope, he did the opposite. But I remembered a great deal of things that happened while we were dating. We weren’t a good couple, Seth. You fucked around on me all the time. You even had a woman on the side. So I think it’s best that we never see each other again,” Jim said evenly and calmly.

“You were a fucking drama queen when we were dating and you’re still a drama queen. I’m glad we’re not going to be together. You cramped my style,” Seth said hatefully.

“Okay, good to see you, but don’t want to see you again. Goodbye, Seth,” Jim called out over his shoulder as he walked out the door.

“Fuck you, Ellison,” Seth shouted.

Jim smiled all the way to his truck. He hurried home, hoping he would beat Blair, so he could get things ready at the house. He was going to make love to Blair like he never had before. Blair deserved it and was going to get everything he wanted.


As Blair drove by the Red Roof Inn, he saw Seth putting his bags in his rental car. Blair smiled and thought, damn, that Jim is fast.

Things were going to be just fine and he drove home quickly so he could see how fine Jim would make things be.

The end

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Notes: This was originally from my Courage under Fire series, but they are no longer on the web and I just felt like rewriting this one.