Never Let Go by Chrys

Never Let Go - Chrys

Notes: Sequel to Trimmed in Tinsel.

Jim just stared at the man in front of him for a long minute, his eyes drinking in the sight of Blair, sitting cross-legged on the floor beneath the Christmas tree, the twinkling lights dancing on the tinsel covering his guide. Blair's lips were parted as he looked back at Jim, and Jim swallowed as he looked at them, their lush fullness drawing him in.

Blair shifted slightly. "Jim?"

His voice was uncertain, quiet, and the sentinel met his eyes, smiling slightly at the other man. "Yeah, Chief," he answered. "I want it."

Moving at last, he slid off the chair to join Blair on the floor, his hands reaching out to touch the grad student gently, pushing some of the tinsel off his shoulders. Blair looked up at him as Jim knelt before him, his eyes hidden by Jim's shadow. The sentinel hesitated for a second. "Are you sure, Blair?"

"Yes," Blair said, making Jim sigh with relief that was quickly cut short. "And no."

"That doesn't help me here," Jim said roughly. Blair looked down for a moment, tinsel covered hair falling across his face.

"I'm sure I want this, Jim," he said after a moment. "I'm just not sure of what it will mean, afterwards. What it will do to us."

Closing his eyes briefly, the sentinel sighed. "I don't know, Blair," he said. "I don't know either."

Blair looked up at him and swallowed, his throat moving convulsively. "It could destroy what we have, Jim," he said hoarsely.

"Yeah. It could. Or - it could make it even better."

Blair shivered beneath his fingertips and Jim started to pull back, then stopped, his hands tightening their grip instead. "I don't want to let go," he said. "Not now. Not ever."

"I don't want you to let go."

Blair's eyes were filled with emotions, a complex mix of fear and trust and a desire that mirrored Jim's own. He was fairly certain the fear and trust were there too. "Then I won't," he told the other man. "Never, Blair. Unless you tell me to."

Blair's lips curved slightly as he continued to look at Jim. "I'll never tell you to."

"Then we don't have a problem, do we?"

Blair laughed. "Apparently not." He leaned back just a bit, letting the light from the tree fall on his face. "So," he said. "Now what?"

Jim took a deep breath. "I finish unwrapping my Christmas presents?" he suggested, his tone light. Blair looked at him, his face serious, for a moment and the sentinel held his breath waiting for the answer. Blair smiled slowly.

"That might be a good idea."

*****

Jim's face was full of a cautious elation that Blair suspected matched his own. They still hadn't touched, beyond Jim's hands on Blair's shoulders, hadn't kissed, although Blair had a feeling that would change any second now. They hadn't done anything. But they were going to, and it would change everything.

Jim was right, though. It might make everything better. Ignoring the tiny voice that told him to run, Blair leaned forward, his eyes locked to Jim's, and kissed him. Jim's lips were dry, slack with surprise for just a second before he realized what Blair was doing and began to kiss him back. It was awkward, and strange, and quickly became the thing Blair wanted most to be doing right this second. Jim's lips firmed, and opened, meeting his own with a gentleness that shouldn't have surprised Blair, but did. The sentinel let him control the kiss, and nothing in Blair doubted that was exactly what was going on. Jim was letting him.

But not forever. Soon enough Jim shifted, pulling Blair up to meet him, pressing his chest against Blair's as he took control of their kiss, his tongue knowledgeable as it explored Blair's mouth, tangling with his own until Blair moaned into the kiss, making the sentinel chuckle softly as he pulled back. "Like that?" Jim asked, laughing again as Blair growled at him.

Their lips met again, and Blair felt himself being moved, pressed backward to lie upon the floor, Jim's body stretched out, half beside him, half on top of him, his erection obvious against Blair's leg. Blair arched, pushing upward into the other man, and Jim groaned. Blair felt himself smile, even as their kiss continued, and thrust up again.

Jim pulled away, panting as he looked down at Blair, his eyes dilated. "Too fast," he said. "Slow down."

"Don't want to."

"Blair..."

"No. I want this, Jim. Now. Fast." He smiled, holding the sentinel's eyes with his own. "There will be plenty of time for slow later. I promise."

Not waiting any longer, not willing to let this pass, he rolled his hips, sliding his own erection against Jim's thigh, reaching up and pulling his lover down to kiss him again. Jim resisted for a second, then gave in, pouring himself into the kiss as his body moved along with Blair's.

Fully clothed, still draped in tinsel, Blair lay beneath the Christmas tree with his sentinel, their need and passion as bright as the lights that twinkled above them. Would this change them?

Of course it would.

And that wouldn't be a bad thing. Blair wouldn't let it be. And he'd never tell Jim to let go.

The end

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Acknowledgements: Again, always, for Beth. Thank you to Patt for the cover art.