Rarin' to Go by ainm

Rarin' to Go - ainm

“Oh come on, Chief, that's crazy!”

“Says you.”

“Do you want to get coal in your stocking?”

“Oh for god's sake!”

“I bet you got coal in your stocking when you were a kid.”

“Jim, I didn't have a stocking – I'm Jewish.”

“Oh, right. Hmm, do naughty Jewish kids get coal for Hanukkah?”

“Are you drunk?”


“Strung out on Sentinel catnip?”

“I don't think panthers are affected by catnip.”

“OK, you must be under the influence if you're bringing up the mystical. What have you had since you got to the party?”

“Just a couple of those goat-cheese things, but they were awful, so I washed them down with some cider.”

“Which cider?”

“What? That one on the left.”

“Oh boy... did you not notice the alcohol?”


“Oh boy...”

“That cheese was disgusting.”

“Right... and...?”

“So maybe I might have dialed down...”

“Oh boy... how much did you have?”

“Isn't that sexist?”


“Doesn't that bother you? I bet Naomi says 'oh girl' sometimes.”

“Oh – something. I guess it doesn't matter how much you had, you're hammered.”

“Hammered... nailed... I'd like you to nail --”

“-- Jim!”


“Oh boy --”

“-- girl!”

“-- I have got to get you out of here --”

“-- mmm, yeah...”

“-- before you do something that's going to mean we can't show our faces in Major Crime for a week.”

“Can we show our –”

“-- Jim! Come on, man, grab your coat --”

“-- I'd like to show you my – mmphh

“OK, forget the coat, just come with me, and I promise I'll take my hand away when we're out the door if you'll just keep moving.”

- - - - -

“Alright, Jim, here we go, give me those keys and up into the truck...”


“Oh, so now you are listening to me?”

“I always listen to you. … Well, not always the words...”

“I knew it... Alright, seatbelt on...”

“Yes, sir.”

“Oh man, I could make so much of this situation...”

“I really hope you will.”

“Jim! Hands to yourself while I'm driving!”

“Drive faster then.”

“It doesn't seem right to take advantage of you in this situation.”

“You aren't. Well, you wouldn't be. Won't be. Um...”

“OK, Jim, if you just sit there nice and quietly on your side of the truck 'til we get home, I'll make sure you get what you need when we get inside.”

“Yes, sir.”

“OK, Jim, we're here. … Jim, let's go. … Jim? … Jim!”


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Acknowledgments: This was written for LJ Secret Santa List, 2010. Thanks to Patt for the artwork.