The Morning After - Patt
Jim woke to an empty bed, that had been filled the night before by his roommate and new lover, Blair Sandburg. He didn’t like waking up alone, it didn’t suit him one bit.
Jim listened for Blair and heard him on the laptop, doing something and mumbling. Jim couldn’t make out what he was saying, but he imagined that Blair was trying to figure out a way to get out of what had happened.
They had both had too much to drink and Blair made a move on Jim which Jim reciprocated. Both men couldn’t seem to get enough of each other. Jim did something that he’d never dreamed he would do with anyone and that was to be a bottom. He had always been the top, but Blair had a way of talking him into almost anything.
Jim had given Blair a stellar blowjob and left Blair panting and lifeless for some time. When he did recover, he was like a man on a mission. He knew exactly what he wanted to do and did just that.
The night had been wild. Filled with hot, steamy sex and lots of words of love. Both men had declared their love for the other one, so it was indeed an evening that would not be forgotten. Everything had gone well and Jim thought it would be the first day of the rest of his life, but Blair might have other plans and Jim needed to find out what Blair was thinking.
Jim got his boxers on and then his robe and walked down the stairs, very quietly. He wanted to go up to Blair and kiss his neck and tell him he loved him again, but he was feeling insecure and wasn’t sure why. So instead he walked up to Blair and whispered, “Chief?”
Blair almost jumped out of his chair. “Hey Jim, I didn’t hear you come down. Sorry.”
“What are you doing?” Jim asked.
“Research,” Blair answered.
“Research?” Jim asked, trying not to sound so needy.
“Yeah, I figured that something caused what happened last night, so I’m doing some research on my Sentinel notes, I’ve taken and might have forgotten,” Blair replied.
“You think that last night has something to do with me being a Sentinel?” Jim asked curtly.
“Well, yeah. I mean, we’ve never gone in that direction before, so I figured there has to be another answer,” Blair explained.
“What if I was just interested in you?” Jim asked, trying not to sound hurt.
“Jim, you weren’t just interested, you acted like you hadn’t had sex in months,” Blair responded.
“I haven’t,” Jim assured him.
“Why?” Blair wondered.
“Because I’ve been thinking about you for the last six months, that’s why,” Jim answered.
“So, that wasn’t your first time?”
“No… Was it yours?” Jim asked.
“Yeah, it was my first time with a guy and I have to tell you, you turned me on like nothing ever has. That’s why I figured it had to be Sentinel-Guide issues,” Blair confessed.
Jim was border-line hurt and pissed off. “You think that the only reason I wanted you was because you’re my Guide?”
“Well, you’ve never asked before, so I figured it had to do with a bond type element in our relationship,” Blair continued to explain.
“In case you forgot, you’re the one that initiated it, so I think we can say it wasn’t a Sentinel thing,” Jim was pacing now.
“But I don’t know why I did it. I still can’t believe I came on to you and you let me. And Jim, I fucked you. How do you explain that?
“I wanted you to. It’s as simple as that,” Jim acknowledged.
“No, it’s not as simple as that. I did something last night that I never have, and you let me. I have to find out why,” Blair seemed desperate.
“So you don’t find me attractive?” Jim asked.
“Well, yeah, or I wouldn’t have come on to you,” Blair said smiling.
“You’ve never wanted to kiss me?” Jim asked next.
“Yeah, I have. But I never acted on it until last night. Why is that?”
“I had my shirt off when you kissed me. Do you find me especially attractive when I am shirtless?” Jim asked.
“You looked really good without your shirt on. I couldn’t help myself. And I really need to find out why,” Blair replied.
“Blair, how long have you found me attractive?”
“Since the first day I met you. I was always afraid that you would catch on and throw me out,” Blair admitted.
“Then it doesn’t have to do with Sentinel and Guide issues. I didn’t begin falling for you at first. I’ve been with other men before and you had me falling head over heels in love with you as of six months ago. And speaking of love, you told me you loved me,” Jim reasoned.
“Well, you told me you loved me,” Blair said defensively.
“You said it first. And I do love you,” Jim remarked.
“Do you want me now?” Blair asked.
“With every fiber of my being. I wanted to kiss your neck while you were bent over the computer when I first came down, but didn’t know how you would feel about the morning after,” Jim explained.
Blair ran his hand over Jim’s naked chest that was peeking out from the robe. Then he moved lower and found a very hard Jim Ellison. Blair really needed to figure this out.
“Why do you think that you wanted me last night and not before?” Blair asked.
“I did want you before, you moron. I didn’t think you would be interested. I know that I like men, but I never knew you did,” Jim stated.
Blair ran his hand over his face and sighed. This wasn’t going to be easy to do, but he was going to have to find out what Jim was feeling.
“So, what are you feeling right now?” Blair asked.
Jim pulled Blair out of the chair and into his arms. He then kissed him and almost swallowed Blair’s tongue, he was getting so into it. Jim pulled Blair closer to him and noticed that Blair wasn’t hard, like he was. Jim pulled back and said,” You’re not turned on, are you?”
“Not right this minute,” Blair answered.
“Shit… I’m sorry, Chief, it must have been just me.”
“No, I’m the one that started it. So I must have subconsciously wanted you and didn’t know it,” Blair admitted.
“But do you love me?” Jim asked nervously.
“I think so,” Blair answered as truthfully as he could.
“I think so isn’t the answer I was looking for. You either love me, or you don’t. I think so isn’t one of the choices,” Jim said.
“Did you like what I did to you last night?” Blair asked.
Jim had the decency to blush. “Yeah,” he answered.
“You seemed a little bit nervous,” Blair pointed out.
“It was my first time as a bottom,” Jim admitted.
“You’re shitting me. Jim, why in the hell would you let someone that’s never done it before be the top?”
“Because I didn’t know you had never done it before. You seemed really sure of yourself during the whole thing. You were pretty gung ho for being new to it,” Jim said.
Blair didn’t know what to say to that. He didn’t know if it was a compliment or not. It could be, Jim wouldn’t say something like that unless he meant it would he?
“Jim, did I do it right?” Blair asked nervously.
“What a stupid question, Chief. Did you not hear what I said to you while you were fucking me? I laid my heart on the line and you’re asking if you did it right?” Jim was getting irritated.
“I mean, I just want to make sure that you aren’t just being nice to me about it and then years from now, I’ll find out how badly I sucked at it,” Blair replied.
“You fucked me so well that I forgot my name, Chief. But I didn’t forget yours. So in my opinion you did it just right,” Jim confessed.
“I really did like doing it,” Blair declared.
“Good… Now are we over the Sentinel-Guide discussion?” Jim wondered.
“Not necessarily, Jim. I still have unanswered questions and you can’t blame me for wanting to be sure about it,” Blair stated.
“Just ask the questions and I’ll try and answer them as well as I can,” Jim ordered.
“Have you ever thought about a man doing that to you?” Blair asked.
“Then why did you let me do it to you?” Blair questioned.
“Because you were making me feel good and I’m in love with you. I thought it would be the next logical step, but I might have been wrong,” Jim barked.
“Jim, I’m serious,” Blair complained.
“So am I,” Jim responded.
“So we’re making out and I get the need to fuck your brains out and you just thought it would be the next logical step? Somehow I don’t think it’s as easy as that,” Blair said.
“Blair, did you forget the part where I said I love you?”
“No, I remember that part, I just wondered why you would let me fuck you,” Blair acknowledged.
“Because I love you, that’s why. There doesn’t have to be a deep hidden secret, I’m wild about you and I knew you wanted to fuck me, so I figured, why not?” Jim explained.
Blair didn’t like the answers he was getting. “Jim, you’ve never bottomed before, but yet I kiss you for a while and you let me do it? I don’t believe that it was because you loved me. There must be a deeper reason,” Blair inquired.
“Why did you want to fuck me?” Jim asked.
“It seemed exciting at the time,” Blair answered.
“Well it was exciting at the time. I was excited and I had a very good time,” Jim assured him.
“Jim, I know you had a good time, but why would you change your lifestyle for me?”
“I’ve always wondered what it would feel like, but I never met anyone that I trusted enough to let them do it to me. I trust you like no other. Is that a good enough reason?” Jim asked.
“I’m really confused right now,” Blair admitted quietly.
“Are you sorry that you fucked me?” Jim asked uncertainly.
“I might be. I think I rushed things and you just let me,” Blair accused.
“Blair, don’t blame me for what you did. It was your idea; I climbed on for the ride, more or less. It seemed like a good thing to do at the time. Why are you making such a big deal out of it?”
“Because you’ve never done it before tonight. And yet you just drop your drawers, open up your legs and let me do it to you,” Blair whispered.
“Blair, I was feeling good about it and felt like it was the thing to do. I love you and wanted to share my body with you,” Jim explained.
“But you’ve never shared it or wanted to share it before. I just feel like I took advantage of you,” Blair said.
“Oh give me a break, Chief. Would you stop being so melodramatic? I’m in love with you, nothing more, and nothing less. Now can we make out again?” Jim asked moving closer to Blair.
Blair wasn’t giving in that easily. “Tell me honestly that it had nothing to do with the Sentinel senses,” Blair dared him.
“I can’t do that. I might have felt comfortable because we’re Sentinel and Guide, I don’t know for sure. All I know is it felt terrific and I’m glad we did it,” Jim moved closer to Blair again.
Once again, Blair moved back from Jim’s grasp. “Jim, this is important. I don’t want us making love because we’re Sentinel and Guide. I only want us to make love because we want to.”
Blair ran into the door and was stuck, because Jim was right against him. “I think you’re nervous about me doing the same thing to you. That’s why you’re bringing up the whole Sentinel-Guide issue. Am I right?”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Jim. I’m not afraid, I just think we need to take this a little slower,” Blair suggested.
“What happens if I want to fuck you?” Jim asked.
Blair blushed and said, “Maybe I’m not ready for this yet.”
“Maybe not,” Jim said unhappily.
Blair knew that Jim was upset with him and didn’t want that.
“What happens if we do it tonight and I don’t like it? Then we wouldn’t be friends anymore,” Blair assumed.
“But you can fuck me and it’s all right?” Jim asked.
“No, that’s my point. What if we’re never the same after today? We’d no longer be friends and we wouldn’t be able to work together. After what we’ve been through, I would hate to not be able to work with you at the station. I love being a cop,” Blair explained.
“I love you,” Jim said off handedly.
“You’ve said that, but how do you know its love and not just lust?”
Jim kissed Blair twice and whispered, “I know because you’re making me hard with all of this talking. Even your voice makes me hard. You don’t even have to touch me,” Jim admitted.
“I think we’re going to regret this,” Blair said.
“I don’t regret a thing. And I would like to make love to you this time if you’d let me,” Jim pushed his body even closer to Blair’s and could feel both of their hard-on’s against each other.
“What if I’m afraid?” Blair asked quietly.
“Then we’ll slow down and take it from another direction,” Jim said calmly.
“So you would just go around with that hard-on all day long instead of making love to me?”
“Blair, I want both of us to have a good time and to be sure about it. So let’s take our time,” Jim kissed Blair again.
This time Blair was really getting into the kiss and Jim’s motor was running like crazy.
“Chief, we need to stop this because I’m going to want to do things to you that you might not want right now. We need to slow down,” Jim suggested.
“I love you Jim,” Blair whispered.
“God, I adore you, but I want to make love to you and I know you’re not ready. So let’s stop this right now,” Jim said as he pulled away from Blair this time.
Blair started walking up Jim’s stairs to his bedroom and Jim just watched him with feverish eyes. God, I want him bad… Jim was on the verge of coming and he wasn’t even next to Blair.
Jim followed Blair up the stairs and took his robe and boxers off and said, “One of us is slightly overdressed.”
Blair stripped down and slid into Jim’s bed. Jim wanted to make this really good for Blair, so he gave him a blow job first. It didn’t take long for Blair to be thrashing his head back and forth calling out Jim’s name and then he began to beg for Jim to fuck him.
Jim stopped with the blowjob and got busy stretching Blair’s anus. Blair was really nervous and Jim could tell, but he was still letting Jim do it. Once Jim had three fingers in, he pulled them out and replaced it with his sheathed cock and slowly pushed in.
Blair lost a bit of his hard-on when Jim pushed in, but it didn’t take long for it to come back.
“You’re so good at this,” Blair said smiling.
“So are you, I’m right on the edge of coming,” Jim admitted.
After a few moments, Blair reached down and fisted his own cock a few times and came with a howl, bringing Jim right after him.
When Jim woke up about two hours later, Blair was in his arms, like he should be and Jim felt terrific. He only hoped that Blair felt as good as he did.
Blair started to stir and Jim anxiously awaited something to be said. He didn’t have long to wait.
“You are a great lay, Jim Ellison. I had a very good time,” Blair said blushing.
Jim kissed him and said, “I enjoyed it too. We are exclusive, right?”
“But of course we are. When do I get to move my things up to this big room?” Blair asked smiling.
“Right now sounds good to me. Come on, I’ll help you bring everything up that you’ll need,” Jim said helping Blair get out of bed. Jim noticed that Blair was walking like he was sore and Jim totally understood, because he was walking the same way. He didn’t know how Blair felt about it, but Jim thought it was a very good hurt.
At dinner Blair stood making the stir fry when Jim walked over to him and kissed him on the neck and then sucked his skin until it became a really good hickey.
“How did you know that I wanted you to kiss my neck?” Blair asked.
“I didn’t, I just needed to touch you and that seemed like a good idea. I love when I’m right,” Jim laughed.
Blair smiled and said, “So do we tell anyone at the station?”
“Not yet, we just started being an ‘us’. Let’s get used to it first,” Jim decided.
“I totally agree, this is all new to us and we have to get used to it first,” Blair approved.
“Have I mentioned lately that I love you?” Jim said sweetly.
“No, and I was beginning to wonder if you still did,” Blair laughed again.
“Well, I do. And I just wanted to be sure that you knew that. And by the way, I really liked fucking you,” Jim confessed.
“Good, because I love you too and I loved you fucking me too,” Blair answered.
“Do you have enough room upstairs for everything?” Jim asked.
“Yes, thank you for giving me half of everything. There is plenty of room up there. Can we turn my old room into an office?” Blair asked sweetly.
“I think the guys would notice when they came for poker night,” Jim pointed out.
“Wait a minute, this would bother you if they found out?” Blair asked moving away from Jim.
Jim knew he was going to have to make this good because he could see that Blair was freaking out. “I think it’ll be fine when we tell them, but not right now,” Jim suggested.
“Jim, what if I wanted to tell Conner?”
“Chief, why in the world would you want to tell Conner?”
“I told her I was in love with you some time ago and she told me to act on it. What can I say? I tell her things I didn’t even tell you,” Blair admitted.
“In that case, go ahead. She probably will be able to tell right away but ask her to keep it to herself for awhile,” Jim stated.
“Ready to eat?” Blair asked.
“I’m starving and then I’d like some dessert,” Jim said smiling while wiggling his eyebrows.
“You’re going to kill me, aren’t you?” Blair asked as he set the food on the table.
“Not if I can help it, Chief,” Jim said.
“I love you, Jim.”
“I love you, Blair.”
And all that could be heard in the loft were sounds of two good friends, sharing a meal and discussing what they planned on doing to each other later on that night. And to think Jim had worried about the morning after.
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Acknowledgments: Thank you to Mary for the beta and to Lisa for always giving my stories a home.