Making The Right Choice by Peggy R.

Making The Right Choice - Peggy R.

Naomi left the doctor's office, head bowed. She'd never really believed in doctors but when the pain and bleeding became severe, she knew she had to see one. Cancer, the doctor had told her, she had cervical cancer and it had spread so much that surgery would do no good.

As she walked back into the loft, where she'd been staying while visiting Blair, she thought about what the doctor had told her. Four months tops, the doctor had said. 'How will I ever tell Blair?'

Cascade Ware House District

"SIMON GET DOWM!!" Jim yelled as all hell broke loose from inside the warehouse. Jim had heard the chambers loading from at least 25 guns, in at least 15 different locations. Simon dove down behind his vehicle, as the Cascade PD returned fire from the multitude of vehicles that partially surrounded the building. Thank God Blair's teaching today, Jim thought to himself.

All of a sudden bullets started piercing the vehicles, "SHIT, THEY'VE GOT COP KILLERS PEOPLE!! PULL BACK, PULL BACK!!!!!" Simon shouted.

As the PD started to pull back, officers were dropping all around, badly wounded or dead.

"Jim, we need to get somebody in there, we're badly outnumbered with those damn bullets," Simon said as they ran.

"I can take them out if I can get in there, I just need cover," Jim answered.

"NO, no way in hell. Even with those senses of yours, they won't help against those things. You'd get yourself killed, and I'm not facing Sandburg with that news."

As they ran, Simon heard a ping and Jim fell, blood pouring from a hole in his vest. "FUCK, JIM!!!"

Simon grabbed Jim under the arms and dragged him around the corner of a building. "Jim! C'mon Jim, talk to me. Awww damn, don't you die on me."

"Simon?" Jim whispered.

"Yeah Jim, I'm right here buddy." Simon cradled Jim's head in his lap. "I'm right here."

"Tell... tell Blair..."

"I'm not gonna tell Blair anything, you're going to be okay. You hear me?"

"Not this time Simon." Jim's body seized, and he groaned with the pain. "Not this time. Please... please tell Blair that I love him, and that I'm sorry. Please? Please, tell him," Jim begged as he grabbed Simon's arm.

"I'll tell him Jim, I'll tell him. I promise, but you're not gonna die, you're not."

Jim looked up into Simon's chocolate brown eyes, and smiled slightly. "You're my best friend Simon, thank you for that. Take care of Blair for me, will you? Please?" Jim ground out gritting his teeth as pain racked him again.

"You got it buddy, you got it."

"Thanks Simon, you're a great friend, thanks for every... thingggg."

As Jim died, swat showed up in full battle armor with a fully armed battle ready vehicle. The fight was over in minutes. When the smoke cleared, all the smugglers in the warehouse were dead, plus six police officers.


On his way home, Blair was listening to the radio.

"We interupt our regularly scheduled program with breaking news. The Cascade Police Department had at least 15 suspected drug smugglers trapped in a warehouse on Benson, latest reports say that the smugglers were using cop killer bullets. The Cascade swat team has successfully defused the situation, there were devastating casualties for both sides."

"Oh fuck, JIM!" Blair screamed, as he quickly turned his car around and headed toward the carnage.

Twenty minutes later Blair screeched to a halt, jumping out of the car almost before it came to a complete stop. As he was running, someone grabbed him. He spun around wildly and came face to face with Gabe, the angel he and Jim had met on a previous case.

"Do not go up there, young Blair. Great pain awaits you."

"What?! Gabe, what are you talking about? It's Jim, isn't it? JIM!!" Blair yelled, "JIM!!"

Simon heard Blair and quickly ran toward him. As he approached, Blair could see blood. Simon's shirt was covered in blood, Oh god please, don't let it be Jim's. Please.


"It's Jim's, isn't it?" Blair asked looking at Simon's shirt.


"He's dead, isn't he Simon? Oh god, he's dead, isn't he?" Blair sobbed.

"I'm afraid so, Blair," Simon answered and he enveloped the young man in his arms. "He told me to tell you he loved you and that he was so sorry."

"Oh god, oh god. Where is he Simon? Where is he?"

"They've taken him to the hospital."

"I gotta..." Blair began to say he had to get to Jim, but collapsed before he could finish his sentence.

"I'll take you kid, I've got you," Simon answered softly as he cradled the limp body against him.


Lying on the futon bed that used to belong to her son, Naomi thought about her life and the doctor's diagnosis. 'I haven't been much of a mother to my baby, but he knows I love him. How am I going to tell him this?' Suddenly it felt as if there were someone in the room with her. She slowly looked around, standing by the door was a young man, with blond hair, staring at her.

"Oh my god, who... who are you? How did you get in here? Look my son-in-law is a cop, you better get out of here right now. He'll be home any minute."


"How... how do you know my name? Who are you?" Naomi asked shakily.

"My name is Gabe, who I am isn't important right now, what is important is that in the very near future, you will need to make a decision. It won't be easy, but it will need to be made. By you, and you alone."

"What decision?"

"You'll know." Then he was gone.

Several hours later Naomi heard people coming in the front door. She rose from bed and entered the living room. What she saw almost made her heart stop. Blair was practically being carried over to the couch. He was crying hysterically.

"Oh my god, what's happened?" Naomi asked as she rushed to her son.

"Naomi," Simon said softly, "Jim's been killed."

"WHAT??? What happened?"

"No... please... I... I can't hear this again... please." Blair sobbed.

"Oh my baby, my poor baby." Naomi crooned, cradling her son to her and rocking.

"The doctor at the hospital gave him a shot to calm him down, he needs to rest. I'll help you get him up to bed," Simon offered.

Simon took one side and Naomi the other as they gently steered the young man up the stairs and onto the bed. Simon said his goodbyes, telling Naomi if they needed anything to just call, then he left.

Blair lay on his side, softly crying. Naomi walked over to the bed, having seen Simon to the top of the stairs. Lying gently down next to her son, he quickly turned over and buried his head in her chest.

"Oh god, it hurts. Why did he have to leave me? Why Jim, why did you leave me?" Talking to but not really realizing that Naomi was there.

Finally having cried himself to sleep, Naomi decided to fix herself something to eat. Quietly slipping out of the bed and down the stairs, she made her way into the kitchen. Deciding on only a cup of tea, she quickly made her way back up the stairs. Pulling a chair over to the side of the bed, she sat and watched her son. Blair tossed and turned, mumbled softly and cried in his sleep.

"Why Jim, tell me why?" he cried softly, still asleep. "I for- give you for dying, but we never got the chance to say goodbye. I wish you were here. I love you Jim, I love you so much. Come back, please come back. I need you." Then the young man was silent, finally the drug was able to take control and let him get some rest.

Naomi sat, crying softly in her chair, "Oh baby, what I wouldn't give to see you not to hurt like this. I would gladly change places with Jim if I could."

Suddenly, the light in the room changed and became brighter. Naomi covered her eyes and looked toward the corner of the room. There, standing surrounded by the light, was the same young man who had spoken to her before.


"Yes," he answered softly.

"Does this have anything to do with the decision you spoke of before?" she asked quietly.


"The decision is, would I give my life to make my son happy?"


"Then the answer is yes, I would do anything to see my son happy again. He would be sad at my passing, but not like this. Nothing like this," Naomi responded, looking at her exhausted son, still crying in his sleep.

"Then so be it," Gabe answered. A blinding white light filled the room, then nothing.


Blair awoke alone in his and Jim's bed. Slowly looking around, he noticed a chair next to the bed. "Oh god, I thought it was a dream, he's really gone."

He got himself up off the bed and made his way down the stairs, when there was a knock at the door. I don't feel like seeing anybody right now. the young man thought to himself, but didn't want people worrying about him so he opened the door.

Blair let out a gasp, took two steps back and almost fainted, for standing on the other side of the door was Jim.

"JIM!!!" The young man shouted, and flung himself into his lover's arms. "What happened? You were dead. I... I saw your body."

"I don't know Chief. The last thing I remember was being at the warehouse with Simon, and then I was down and nothing."

"Oh god, I don't care. You're here now, with me. Please don't ever leave me again. Please," Blair sobbed happily.

"I'll try baby, I'll try."

"Wait till I tell Naomi about this, she will be estatic. She's all into this mystic, unexplained stuff. Wait a minute, where is she? She was here earlier."

"I don't know Chief, I just got here. But I'm really tired, I'd like to take a nap, if you don't mind." Jim said softly, hugging his lover to him.

"I'll lay down with you, if you don't mind. I'm rather worn out and don't want to let you out of my sight for awhile."

"I don't mind at all Chief, we'll take a nap and maybe try to figure this out later. If at all possible," Jim answered, never letting go of his smaller lover as they made their way up to their bed. As they neared the bed, they discovered a note from Naomi.


I'm sorry I had to leave you in such a hurry,
there wasn't any time to explain. Just know
that I love you very much and would do any
thing to see you happy again. We'll see each
other again, until then, I love you.


"This note is really strange Jim, I don't understand. She was here when I went to sleep."

"We'll search for her when we get up Chief. She probably had to process everything that was going on."

"Yeah, you're probably right. She'll turn up, eventually."

Crawling onto the bed, Blair turned and opened his arms for his lover. As Jim climbed onto the bed Blair noticed something on Jim's chest. As he ran his hand over the mark, he realized it was the shadow from where the bullet had entered Jim's chest. Jim looked down to see what his lover was looking at, then their eyes locked at the enormity of the situation. They didn't know what actually happened, miracle... divine intervention... Blair didn't know, but was glad as hell that it did.


Several days later, Naomi found herself standing at the door of her doctor's office. Not knowing how she got there or why, she entered.

"Yes, may I help you?" the lady at the appointment window asked.

"Naomi Sandburg." Was all she could say.

"Ah yes, you have a 2:00 appointment with Dr. Chadwick. Please have a seat, he'll be right with you."

"Thank you," Naomi replied, then took a seat as she tried to remember the last two days.

"Ms. Sandburg, would you come this way please?" the nurse asked, as she held the door open. The nurse led Naomi down the hall to a room and told her to have a seat on the table. She then took Naomi's vitals, wrote them down then said that the doctor wanted to run more tests. When the nurse left, another nurse came in to draw blood, and then she was taken to another room for an ultra- sound. Half an hour later the doctor came into the room.

"Ms. Sandburg?"


"It seems there has been some sort of mistake, I would like to repeat these tests if you don't mind. I just want to make sure they're right before I give you the results," Dr Chadwick told her.

"I don't mind, I want to make sure too."

An hour later, having had all the tests done again, Naomi waited for the doctor. When he came through the door, he looked very confused and apologetic.

"Ms. Sandburg, I don't quite know how to tell you this. But it seems our first diagnosis was wrong. You don't have cervical cancer, it seems you just have a severe infection. Your cervix and uterus are severely inflamed, which is what's causing the pain and bleeding. I’m so sorry for the distress I'm sure this has put you and your family through. I'll give you some antibiotics, free of charge, to clear up this horrible mistake."

Naomi sat there for a few minutes, then said, "I'm not going to die?"


"I don't have cervical cancer after all?"


Naomi suddenly heard the twilight zone theme in her head, but she wasn't going to question the outcome. She was going to live!

"Doctor, you're sure?"

"Yes, that's why I wanted to run the tests again, for your sake as well as mine. Please understand, mistakes happen. I am just so sorry about this."

"Yes, I do understand mistakes happen, not to worry. I won't sue, I'm too happy about being able to live, now if you'll excuse me I have one more thing to check on. Then I can be completely happy. Goodbye doctor."

Naomi jumped off the table and quickly left the office. On her way down the stairs to the main floor, she accidently bumped into someone coming up.

"Excuse me, I'm so sorry."

"That's quite alright, Naomi."

Naomi stopped, turned around and looked up into the face of the angel she'd seen several times before.


"Yes, Naomi."

"What's going on? Please tell me. I'm so confused, first I was dying, now I'm not."

"You have been selfish throughout most of your life, we knew you loved your son, in your own way, but would you put your son's happiness before your own? That was the question. When you said you would gladly trade places with Jim to see your son happy again, well... we decided to reward that selflessness. You will live also, now go, and have a happy life. Love your son and son-in-law."

"I will, thank you Gabe, thank you so much. Thank your boss too, whoever that may be."

Rolling his eyes slightly, knowing that Naomi believed in many different gods, he just replied, "I will, Naomi, I will." Then he was gone.

Happily continuing on her way, she was going to call Blair but decided to wait a few more days, knowing that there was probably some heavy celebrating going on in the loft. She was right.


Monday morning as Jim and Blair entered to elevator to take them up to Major Crimes, the young observer wondered what they would tell Simon and the others when Jim walked in, seeing as they had all seen Jim dead.



"Um... what are we gonna say when you walk in there? I mean, they all saw you dead, man. Maybe we should just leave town and start a new life somewhere else huh?" Blair asked nervously.

"Blair, didn't it seem odd to you that when we walked through the parking garage that nobody reacted to seeing me?"

"Well, yeah. I guess. I didn't really think about it."

"Well, from that reaction, let's just see what happens when we get to Major Crimes, okay?"

"Yeah man, okay."

When the elevator dinged for their floor, they slowly exited the car and walked into the bullpen. H and Rafe looked up briefly and waved, then went back to their work. Jim and Blair just looked at each other and kept walking. Nearing their desk, Simon's door opened and he bellowed, "Ellison, Sandburg, my office."

They stopped and looked at each other again then at Simon.

"Now gentlemen, if you don't mind."

Following their captain into his office, Jim shut the door after them. Blair slowly sat in one of the chairs in front of Simon's desk, Jim stood beside him.

"Well gentlemen, I hope you enjoyed your time off. Seeing as how Sandburg is sitting tenderly, I'm assuming you did. Anyway, I need the report from the smugglers done today, along with your accident report Jim.

"Accident report?" Jim asked, confused.

"Yes detective, accident report. That knock you took on the head, when you fell, scramble your brain? Although you were out for quite awhile and the wound on the side of your head did bleed pretty badly. At first, I thought you were dead," Simon explained.

"Ah... oh yeah, right," Jim said as he placed his hand to the side of his head, "I'm still a little fuzzy about that. I'll get right on it."

"Sandburg, when he's done with those reports, take his ass home. Make him rest for a few days. I don't want to see either of you here until Thursday. Now get out of here," Simon tried to sound stern but failed. He was worried about his detective.

"Yes sir, Captain, sir," Blair replied as he grabbed his stunned Sentinel's arm and guided him out of Simon's office and over to Jim's desk.

"Let's get these reports done and get out of here, big guy," Blair said as he fired up the computer to type out the reports for Jim to sign.

Jim still had a huge blank spot in his mind, he was sure more went down than what he'd been told by Blair. He knew he would never know the whole truth about what had happened that day, because it seemed that everyone's view of what happened, except for Blair's, had changed. But he was back with his lover, he would be, forever, eternally grateful for that.

The End

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Acknowledgments: Thank you to Patt for the cover and interior artwork.