The Greenman of Cascade by Mererid

The Greenman of Cascade - Mererid

Blair had been the one to get Major Crimes and then the downtown precinct into recycling. He was well known for going through garbage bins and pulling things that could be recycled - white paper for the white paper bins, soda cans and plastic bottles for those specific bins. They stopped using paper towels and napkins in the break room, and now only used hand towels. It amazed Jim how everyone stepped up to take their turn at washing the hand towels.

At home, they were mostly organic already considering Jim's sensitivities to chemicals and harsh perfumes. Jim preferred the green cleaners because he felt they did a better job of cleaning, and his rashes after cleaning the loft or even just a part of the loft, had gone away.

He liked Blair's organic beeswax candles and soy candles. Soy milk was hard to get used to, but once he did, he noticed his digestive system was a lot happier. The soy based lube that Blair found at a particular open market had been a great find. Jim was still a bit uneasy when they went to the "clothing optional" market every couple of weeks during the summer, but it was well worth the effort. No more rashes in delicate areas made love-making so much more fun and enjoyable.

When the city had a Recycle Cascade! conference, Blair -and Jim by default- had been the automatic choice for the Police Department's representative. He did such a great job, that he was sent to the regional conference in Seattle as well.

His nickname, "Greenman", had started around Major Crimes as a joke, but it had caught on and traveled not only throughout the precinct and the entire PD, and from there, it went out to the city.

If they couldn't get a table at a restaurant, Bill Ellison would be sure to point out that his friend was the Greenman. "It's a shame he won't have a chance to try your organic beef..."

Suddenly, they had a table.

The local health food stores would often give them free samples of items to try out. There was a bit of an issue with endorsements, but Blair handled it with his usual diplomacy and grace.

To Jim's amusement, however, he accidentally discovered Blair's Recycling Achilles Heel. He thought he was being smart and brave, and forward thinking. It still cracked him every time he thought of it. When they were alone it was one thing. When they were at his dad's or in some meeting at work, and he'd get that quirky grin on his face, Blair would know instantly what he was thinking about and would get really annoyed.

What was the recycling limit of the Greenman? The guy that had no problem digging through garbage cans and trash bins at work to sort out stuff that could be recycled or reused somewhere else?

Reusable Condoms.

Yep, that's right. The one thing that grossed Blair out and slammed him up against the wall of "no more, here I draw the line!" were reusable condoms.

Jim had found them just by chance one day, and thinking he was really going to surprise Blair - in a good way - had bought a box. They weren't cheap but they were supposed to last a long time.

They had been making out on the couch in the living room. Blair's mouth was incredibly hot, and Jim could never get enough of the taste. It was like chocolate and cinnamon, a hint of coffee, and an elusive touch of black licorice. Blair got their pants unzipped, and had his hand pumping and rubbing their cocks together.

"Jim." Blair panted when he could manage a gasp for air, "Jim, you gotta suit up man. I'm not gonna last much longer..."

Jim had jumped up, shucked his pants, starting for the bathroom, tossing his shirt off as he went. When he got back with the new box of condoms, Blair was naked and arching off the couch as he teased and prepped his own body.

Jim dropped the box on his way, and growled in frustration. He knelt between Blair's legs, his hands shaking as he tried to open the box. You'd think this was their first time as nervous as he was.

Blair took the box and got it open before he noticed what it said on the box... a few seconds for it to filter up to his big brain. His eyes went big.

"Jim-? Re-. You got- reusable condoms?"

Jim knew he was in trouble when Blair's erection started to wilt.

"Condoms, condoms, hurry..." Jim panted, trying to grabbed a condom packet out of the box. But Blair jerked it out of the way, and scooted back up the couch a bit away from Jim.

"Jim, these are reusable condoms. You're- you're going to wash them out and- and..."

"Recycle, renew, reuse." Jim panted, stroking himself and trying to reach for Blair's cock, but Blair batted his hand away.

"This is gross, man! How sanitary can this be? I mean, just the thought of... and then, and then, you reuse them again!" Blair was off the couch before Jim started getting the idea that something was wrong.

"Recycle, Blair. You know, Greenman. Environmentally healthy. Small carbon foot print." Jim frowned, trying to figure out what was wrong and just not understanding. This wasn't going the way he had planned. Blair was supposed to be happy, pleased with him even.

"No." Blair shook his head, and carried the offensive box to the kitchen counter as if it were a dead rat. The way a normal person would carry a dead rat, not Blair 'I wonder what killed it, did it leave behind young? How will they know she won't be coming back to the nest...' Sandburg.

Jim blinked, his own erection flagging now. He shifted around and sat on the couch by himself. What had he done wrong? Why wasn't Blair pleased? Why was he sitting here by himself and not sliding into Blair's tight body?

"Sorry Jim. I'm just totally grossed out. I think I'll take a shower and head to bed. I'll pick up some regular condoms in the morning."

Jim sat there listening to Blair showering, going over the details in his brain. He went up to bed before Blair left the bathroom. They made out in bed anyway, and he made Blair beg for forgiveness, but there wasn't any penetration that night. Well, at least not the regular kind.

As his Army sergeant had once said, "there's more'n one way to skin a cat, soldier."

There was more than one way to make Blair beg for forgiveness and for release.

In the morning, Jim tossed out the expensive reusable condoms, and Blair bought extra of the kind they normally used. They never really talked about it again, except for Jim's grin and silent chuckle.

A reporter asked Blair one time if the Greenman had any recycling limits, and he had blushed, shook his head no. Jim, off-camera, had cracked up and had ended up walking out to the truck to wait for his partner.

"Just shut up." Blair growled at him later. "And drive."

The end

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Acknowledgements: Written for Patt and the MME