Lofty Conversations - Mererid
He walked in right as Blair said, "Look! Someone has to make a decision!"
Jim didn't need to look around to realize Blair was alone. The only other heart beat in the apartment belonged to his roomie. They had been doing errands this morning, and then just some general house cleaning this afternoon. He had kept waiting for Blair to say something about his plans for the night. His friend had been nervous all day, and Jim figured he had some special date planned for tonight.
"You talking to someone, Chief?" Jim asked as he set the laundry basket on the stairs.
Blair jumped, adjusting his waistband, and blushed. "Geez, Jim! Sneaking up on me is rude!"
"I wasn't sneaking." He smiled, and took some items off the top of the basket. They were shirts of Blair's; he put them on the bed in the small room, and came back out. "I heard you talking." He stopped, glancing down at Blair's crotch, "You two having a private discussion?"
"No." Blair grumbled, transferring the heavy pan of water to the stove. "I mean yes." He scrunched his face up. "I mean, I don't know what I mean. Yes, I was talking to my penis. There, I said it. I'm sorry if that bothers you."
"Doesn't bother me." Jim chuckled. "Should I leave? I don't want to interrupt."
"Ha, ha." Blair turned the heat on the stove, and put his hands on his hips. "It's all your fault anyway."
"My fault?" He wasn't sure he should follow that path. Blair talking to his penis? What were they discussing? The date tonight? Wait, water. "What are you cooking? I thought you were going out."
"Who said I was going out?" Now he frowned. "I never said I was going out. My penis likes hanging out, but I try to do naked days when you're stuck at work."
"Gee, thanks." Jim walked over to the island. "What are you cooking?"
"Dinner. I thought we could have fettuccini Alfredo and use up the last of the homemade sauce." Blair tapped the plastic container on the counter by the stove.
Jim sighed. "So you invited your date over? You should let me know so I can clear out for the evening. Who-."
"I'm not having a date!" Blair flung his hands up in the air. "You are so fucking dense sometimes! I thought my penis was bad, but damn, you take the cake!"
"Excuse me?" He had turned back to the laundry basket, disappointed about the evening. He enjoyed Blair's company far too much, and he knew he really should do something about it. He had tried dating, he had tried different interests, new interests, taking classes, volunteering, but it always came back here… "You compare me to your penis?"
"No." He took a deep, calming breath. "Jim, I'm not going out on a date. I haven't been dating anyone for weeks now. I'm not hiding anything from you… Well, I am, but I mean I'm not hiding any one from you."
"What?" He could feel the confusion swirling around in his brain, and the first little tingles of a headache starting.
"My penis feels that it's time I came clean with you. But I'm not so sure…" Blair hesitated. "Look, I just-. I know you've had a lot trouble growing up, and then the divorce, and your senses."
"Blair," Jim walked around the counter so they were face to face, his gaze glanced down, "and Blair's penis, whatever it is, just tell me. I'm sure we'll work it out. Well, uhm, one way or another." He blinked, a few times, rapidly.
"I'm bisexual." Blair said it really fast. Then a slight wicked grin. "We both are."
"Okay." He blinked a few more times. "I kinda knew that. Well, that you are – I assume the two of you must, you know, god… This really tops the bizarre conversations I've had with you, Sandburg."
"You did? I mean, you do? I didn't know that you knew. Know." Blair frowned, shaking his head.
"Yes, I know." A light went on in Jim's head. "Oh, so that's it. You're dating a guy, and you're afraid to bring him here, because you think I'll-."
"No!" Blair shouted, grabbing Jim's arm before he could turn away again. "No, I'm not dating anybody okay!"
"Then what's the big deal?" Jim was beginning to lose his patience.
"Watching you today, man." Blair shook his head, licking his lips, not letting go of Jim's arm. "Just even standing in line at the ATM machine. Your jeans, the way you stand with your feet planted, your shoulders… Then in the bookstore." He closed his eyes. "You went to look for that book for your dad, and you were talking with the clerk, and I could hear you laughing." He opened his eyes, and looked down. "Boing!"
"What?" Did he say that too much? Boing?
"Dense." Blair smiled at him. Jim hadn't tried to pull away. "You."
"I'm sorry, long week?" Jim's forehead creased as he tried to figure out what Blair was saying. "Are you saying that your penis is attracted to me and you aren't? Is that the decision you were discussing?"
"The decision is whether to tell you or not. We're both attracted to you, Jim. I'm attracted to you. I have been from the beginning, but I felt that a more intimate relationship was out of the question. I'm here with you, for you, and I don't care about what else happens. It's just lately… Wow, lately, no one does it for me like you do. Last couple times I've had sex, I really have to concentrate on something about you for it to work, you know?" He just said it. To hell with worrying over reactions or what words he should use. Just say it.
"Oh." Jim blinked. He blinked some more. Blair stared at him, waiting, watching. Click, click. "Oh."
"So, do I move out? You gonna punch me or what?" Blair asked, trying to be prepared but knew whatever happened, it was going to hurt him for a long, long time.
"Please." Jim grumbled, shaking off Blair's hand on his arm, walked over to the table, pulled out a chair and sat down.
"Please?" Blair whispered. "Please move out."
"Now who is being dense?" Jim shook a finger at Blair. "Get over here and sit down. I'm processing." Using a term Blair pulled on him more often than not.
"Okay." Blair walked over and took the other seat.
"So you're saying you haven't told me about your attraction for me because you figure I'm straight, I've had a bad life, and you don't think I could handle it?"
"No, no. I mean yes. Wait, wait. You might be bisexual, but you would have had to repress it. Your dad would never have approved, and the military…"
"You think there aren't any gays in the military?" Jim nearly choked on that.
"Of course I know there are gays in the military!" Blair raised his voice. "I dated a soldier before, I know! That's not what I meant!"
"So what do you mean, professor?" Jim smiled a little. A small smile, and Blair felt his toes start to curl.
"I love you, I think I'm in love with you. I just didn't think you would or could reciprocate, and I don't want it to come between us." His words got softer as he spoke.
"You're in love with me, I assume both of you are," Jim pointed and looked downward, "and you don't want it to come between us?"
"Sometimes you're a real dick."
"Well, I do have one of my own. Jimbo and I have had our own discussions over you."
"Wait, what?" It was Blair's turn to be confused. "Jimbo?"
"Hey, you might not have named your penis, but I named mine. Jimbo." His smile got a little bigger. "I would offer to introduce you two –er, three- but you're convinced I'm straight, and I wouldn't want-."
"Dick! Did I say that already? Asshole!" Blair almost yelled, he waved a finger at Jim, and Jim grabbed his hand, and pulled him out of the chair across the corner of the table and practically into his lap. One hand clamped around the back of Blair's head.
"Yes, but his name is Roger." Jim replied before covering Blair's lips with his own. "If you're good, some day I might introduce you to the girls."
"Girls." Blair muttered, sliding to his knees between Jim's legs. "What girls?"
"They're shy." Jim laughed. He cupped Blair's face with both hands. "Salad or asparagus?"
"What?" Blair braced his hands on Jim's thighs, and pushed up.
"To go with dinner. Or maybe both." Jim pulled his head back so Blair couldn't reach his lips immediately. "We've got that creamed corn."
"Fuck the corn! Kiss me!"
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Acknowledgments: My thanks for Patt for the artwork. BFF! Patt gave me this for a writing prompt, "Look someone has to make a decision."