Pushing Buttons By Patt

Commander Spockburg and Captain James Kirellison were on the bridge trying to get the weapons systems to respond.

"Spockburg, what is happening?" the Captain asked.

"Sir, surely you can not expect me to know everything. I am the one that gets less screen time and less pay," Spockburg said stating a well-known fact. Anyone that knew Spockburg knew he was good at spouting off about facts.

The doors opened and Nurse Megan Chapnor walked in and said, "Spockburg, do you have plans tonight?"

"Nurse Chapnor, we are in the middle of a crisis here. I think this not the best time to discuss my dinner plans," Spockburg said trying to not lose his ever-present cool.

She walked over to him and whispered to the man, hoping the Captain wouldn't hear, "I'll make it worth your while, Spockburg. I'll make you scream, if you give me a chance."

"Pray tell, Nurse Chapnor, why would I want to scream?" Spockburg asked.

"Because I'll make you feel like you've never felt before," she smiled and said.

"Nurse Chapnor," Captain Kirellison muttered as he got closer to them. "Don't you have better things to do? We're in the middle of trying to fix something."

"I have some things to do in medical. I'll come back later, Spockburg," she said as she walked away.

"Captain, I do not understand humans," Spockburg said.

"What are you wondering about, Spockburg?" Kirellison asked.

"Why is she so interested in seeing me in my quarters? I do not understand her at all," Spockburg muttered.

Captain Kirellison moved closer to Spockburg and said, "Remember what we like to do when we're in the holodeck? Well, that's what she wants to do with you."

"Captain, I do not understand," Spockburg said as he still tried unsuccessfully to fix the intercom to engineering.

Getting closer to Spockburg, the Captain said, "You know how much we like to touch each other?"

"Yes?" Spockburg said, raising his eyebrows, still not understanding this at all.

"Well, that's what she wants to do also," Captain Kirellison said.

"This is not logical, James. Why would she wish to do what we do? She has no penis," Spockburg said.

"She wants you to use your penis in her vagina. That's what she wants," the Captain said smiling at his friend and lover who was totally lost on this.

"James, you know I do not like vagina," Spockburg said quietly so only his Captain would be able to hear with his fantastic hearing.

"Exactly, but she doesn't know that you don't like vagina," the Captain said trying to be patient.

"So, I should tell her tonight?" Spockburg asked.

"Only if you're comfortable with that, Spockburg," Kirellison said.

"Perhaps we could show her instead, oh Captain, my Captain," Spockburg said smiling.

"Why didn't I think of that? Yes, good thinking, Commander Spockburg. Now, anything new on why the weapons aren't working?" Captain Kirellison asked.

"Sir, they have been working for three minutes and sixteen seconds. I thought you were aware of this. I should have told you," Spockburg said.

"I'll let you play with my button, tonight, Spockburg," the Captain said as he headed to his post.

Spockburg looked over at Captain Kirellison and said, "You are so going to get it tonight. Perhaps we should start now."

"Good idea, that's why you're my top man," Kirellison said as he headed to the lift.

As Spockburg joined him in the lift, he said, "Oh Captain, my Captain, you know I am always your top man."

The end.

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